Not a child, not yet a grown up

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Deep inside their hearts, my parents never (& still) thought that I'm a child. Their precious baby girl. No matter how old I am. They tend to be very strict & protective of me, thinking that this is the best way to shower me with lots of love, care & support. And I've been in their protective arms for as long as I can remember; that most of the time I ended up willingly obliged to their wishes & demands. Be it a "yes" to this, a "no" to that.

When I thought I've finally started working, things would change. Unfortunately, my circumstances seem to remain the same. I'm still denied the full liberty that I ought to have long ago when I turned 21. I was the least bit frustrated cuz I understood how each family differs from one another. It's so happened that my family is the type that are ready to let go...yet. Neither did I complain nor rebel. I'm still the goody-two-shoes, fulfilling their wishes.

No doubt it was my mistake that I didn't do what I promised yesterday. Despite that, the errand was small & could be postponed to the next day. I told Mum that I'm most likely returning home from dinner at 8pm or 9pm. But circumstance changed & I only returned home at 10.30pm. With that, I got a serious sounding from her for coming home late & it made me wonder the cause that led to such reaction. Is it my Mum's depleting hormonal level that influenced her to amplify her voice & behave irrationally? Or could it be the source of the prob is nothing else but my own fault?

For God's sake, I'm turning 23 in a month. And this dire situation is starting to get on my nerves. Guilt & embarrassment hit me hard as I'm still unable to be fully independent as I hope. My family wants me to stand on my own feet but funny that they're restricting my independence. Oh, the irony! Talk things out, you say? *sighs* I can assure you that a peaceful discussion usually leads to nowhere. Especially when both parties are equally stubborn, strongly keeping their stance & beliefs. I guess time is the only way to make them realise. Hmm. =(